#Chapter 1: 2018

Things has not much change from the last time. I've been thinking for so long now, and it's already 2018. One thing for sure, I'm not getting any younger and I've wasted almost 20 years of my life.

Kuala Lumpur: A place I've never once thought I would step my feet on and now look, who's working and living here for almost 4 years now, me. God's plan. To be honest, I never like it.

This love shit is getting more and more complicated.

I'm here typing cause I'm bored.

Not much of progressing in life.

Waiting is such a hard thing to do.

Praying hard to move in to Melaka by this June. I know HE is listening to my prayer.
Chiow.


-A

Life Changing #101

I am laying down on my bed right now, thinking of a whole lot of things. Everything is fucking my mind again like it used to be long time ago. My issues, I have problems. I know I have it laying and hiding behind my head. I want to change so bad, to be a better person.

But,

Something is holding me back, something I'm unsure of, like a monster holding my hands and covering my eyes not letting me do what I must do. I'm angry with everything around me without any reason. I'm annoyed with every single mistakes that people do. I've become a negative ball that rolls around spreading toxic vibe to everyone. I want to hide in a place that nobody knows. Helft mir...

#272

Is it worth it boy?
to love another and risk your girl.

.

#271

Digging through all the old stuff makes me so amazed with you. Everything that you have done (or doing) can't be seen through the naked eyes. But I know you are doing it and keeping it all to yourself. We are all praying for better days ahead. May all your wish come true, love. Believe in Him. Keep on praying.

#

I have always wanted to write. Something meaningful, something sweet or just anything that is happening around me. Maybe I should start all over again. Seems like I have abandoned it for a very long time. I probably going to write something a day, anything about him till the day I couldn't write anymore.

Kuman, xxo

#270

Two years ago. 
He is happier everytime he sees her. He writes all those pretty stuff about her, like he loves her more than anything. He misses her like she's the only one existed in this world.
Two years ago.


I guess... all the mistakes that she and he had done were to be blamed. Those endless pain, sick memories that cannot be erased. We wish we are robot, so we the robot can permanently erased everything. No.


I miss you, love.

Two.

Packed your stuff, grab your bag and go! Life is too short to delay things to do, darling.


Our Penang trip is done.
Filling up our jar with memories and happiness.

One.

Let's move around and see the world, wanderers!



Move your feet.

#269

Daripada kosong itu kita cipta sesuatu.
Kita cipta hidup daripada kekosongan itu.
Cipta perasaan.
Cipta hidup diantara dua kekosongan.
Dan kita hidup didalamnya.
Bahagia.
Tapi apa rasa itu boleh kekal sebegitu? Kataku 'Tidak'.
Didalam hidup itu kita sediakan satu ruang.
Ruang untuk berkongsi semuanya.
Kita semai ruang itu biar ia penuh dengan kehidupan.

Malangnya, ruang itu selalu terbiar.
Kekosongan. Penuh habuk. Penuh kesedihan. Kosong.

#268

"Kerana sifat semulajadi burung ingin hidup bebas, tidak boleh dikurung jasadnya apatah lagi pandangan dan pemikirannya."

Dan 'burung' itu boleh jadi apa sahaja.






#akupenat :(

#267

Pada angin semalam yang asyik menyapa, apa mahu mu sayang?
Ah. Aku hilang kata.

#266

Bagi aku perkara yang paling celaka bila kau di halang buat apa yang kau mahu.

Kau tak boleh macam ini sebab sekian sekian. 

Kebebasan kau itu cuma permainan untuk mereka yang punya kuasa.

Jika kau ingkar kau akan dihalau keluar, kau tak layak di sini.

Terlalu liar dan keras kepala untuk berada dalam kalangan mereka yang 'berilmu'.

"Eh aku peduli apa?"

"Kau siapa mahu atur dan susun peraturan dalam hidup aku?" 

Aku punya cita untuk menyampaikan ilmu dengan cara aku.

Manusia kecil itu perlu dibimbing bukan dipaksa mengikut.

Biar aku hias hidup aku sendiri wahai manusia bongkak! Celaka.

#SepatuKayu

Apa langit akan bagi jawapan dan apa suatu masa itu akan tiba.

Biar aku tadah tangan menanti. 

& mmg minda penjara dan penindas paling hebat, kompleks tapi realiti. Kuncinya pada genggaman sendiri.

#265

Aku tak suka ditindas, tidak kira siapa kau. Titik.

#264

We are hollow inside,

Pretending to be happy and carelessly floating in the air.

"Murah sungguh harga nyawa-nyawa manusia pada mereka sehingga sanggup bertumpahan darah semata untuk merebut kuasa."
"Entah untuk apa dan demi siapa."

#263

Say, "I'll stop depending on you."

Stop.

Repeat. Repeat.

"But how can you call it love when you are being by yourself, alone. There."

Say, "I'll stop depending on you."

Repeat. 

Say, "I'll stop depending on you."

Stop.

"I want to scream my lungs out, it hurts".

Say, "I'll stop depending on you."

Repeat.

Repeat.

"Can I cry?" 

"But your tears will solve nothing, hun. It'll just ruined your pretty face." 

"My tears are my instant happines... I'm sincerely hopeless."

#262

No matter how many promises you were be given, always remember,
The person is just another human, who never know whether the promises may be fulfilled.


Be careful.

#261

Thanks for making her life as wonderful as it can be and leaving me at the most miserable situation,
while
you are still mine.

#260

Manisnya mulutmu lelaki.

Cukup manis untuk melirikkan senyuman di bibir.

Malang, ianya hanya untuk ditapau, kumpul dan simpan.

Buat bekalan tekak bila aku laparkan senyuman sendiri.

haha.

#259

"Senyumlah hati senyumlah.Senyum cuma senyum."